Sunday, May 3, 2015

It's A Tough Road

It's a tough road when you are not well, and seems to get tougher before it gets better.

This is how it was for me through the month of January.  My face, oh my poor face.  In my last two posts I told you what was going on with my face and the Rosacea.  And in my last post I mentioned that I started working out again.  WELL...that lasted for only 4 days.  Not due to lack of motivation, but more so to do with my face exploding into another red, swollen, itchy, dry and tight mess.  I have had to force myself  to do nothing until this problem is solved.  The only problem with doing nothing is, I feel lazy, bored, unhealthy and not myself.  I felt like I should be in hiding.  I ran into my next door neighbors at the grocery store, and just said "Hi" and carried on with my shopping.  Normally I would have chatted with them, like in the past.  But not in the month of January 2015.  I felt like a monster.  I would try to hide my face as much as possible when I had to leave the house.  I'd put my Hed-Chog on around my neck and bring it up to cover my face up and over my nose.  My hair would be down covering my cheeks, and my toque on down to my eyebrows. It was not pretty.

When February arrived I got some help and my face was much better.  The dermatologist that I went to see recommended Cetaphil facial cleanser and moisturizing cream.  What a difference it has made to my face.  My skin has never been so soft.  Even though my face was doing better, my spirits were still down.  I got myself into an unhealthy state.  Partly due to the medication that I was on, partly due to, I believe slight depression(which I think was due to the medication) and another part due to stress.  Which we all know that stress is a MAJOR KILLER.  I was stress eating and feeling like total crap.  It wasn't my face wanting to hide now, but rather my whole body.

This continued on as the weeks passed by.  In March, we started doing some renovations in our home and exercise was definitely put to the wayside.  And eating right...HA!  That went to the far away side.  Insert very unhappy face here>>>>_____.  And yes, Back Fat Betty and Tina the Talking Tummy had returned.  And we must not forget Cellulite Sally.  She's hanging around on my A$$!

Now I know we shouldn't talk bad about ourselves, but when you (meaning ME, not you) feel like you have let yourself down, it can't be helped.  I feel embarrassed that I let myself get to this point again.  This is where I started on May 27th 2011.  I know that it's a journey and I have written that I have had bumps along the way, and it seems like those bumps have turned into major pot holes.  And I got stuck in the last one.  But I have found a way out.  During the month of April(well nearing the end of it), as renovations were in full swing, I would take breaks from the work and check out what what happening on Facebook.  I noticed a friend(who is a personal trainer) was starting up an online challenge in the month of May.  I was hesitant about it, as all my equipment is packed away and didn't know if I could do it.  That just sounded like the biggest excuse EVER.  I know I can do it, because I have done it before.  I just have to open the closet that my exercise equipment is in and drag it out.  I may not have all the equipment needed but I know how to improvise and modify exercises.
It is MY time again now.  For the past year and a bit, I have put others before me and did not take care of myself like I taught myself to do.  I got weak.  I ended up getting defeated by my lack of commitment to the Healthier Version of Me.

So with that all being said...tomorrow I resume my journey to the Healthier Version of Me with the help of the CX-T Find Your Fit Challenge.

Chris has done a fantastic job with sending out all the information needed with instructional videos for each exercise.  As well as nutritional information to follow.  For more information on the Find Your Fit Challenge, whether it be this one or other Challenges that Chris will have to offer, as well as his personal training sessions, email him at

I have the nasty job of weighing myself in the morning.  I already had my husband take some before pictures of me.  I don't even want to look at them.  I'm hoping that I don't have to post them until I hit week 4, when progress pictures will be taken.  It won't be SO embarrassing.  Well it will be if I don't change at all.  BUT...that is NOT an option!

I will post some food pictures for your viewing pleasure.  Because blogs are just not the same without pictures.

My "Before" picture looks nothing like the ones in the above photo.  Great job everyone!

May the 4th be with us all tomorrow.

Wish me luck and...

Stay Strong!